chase away the demons

moved

2006-05-29T01:26:00.000+08:00

http://grapejuice.wordpress.com

Drawing of lines. Fencing me in.

2006-05-08T00:45:00.000+08:00

I forgot what I wanted to say.

I need a holiday.

I am currently waitressing(have been since march) almost full time now. Because Jack's Place has to finally pay CPF. So now I am getting CPF.. for 2 months at least. I'm going to be on my feet for 30h next weeek, oh kill me now. While I like what I am doing, at times its such a crap job cos everything I do seems to be bloody wrong to whats-her-face, and I keep dousing customers with fruit juice('Strike 2!')

I want want want the LKCSP scholarship. Give it to me!!

And I desperately need a bed now. So toodles.

Demanding my Demands.

2006-04-24T01:43:00.000+08:00

I have many wants.
I want a LeeKongChian Scholarship. And maybe the PWC one. Can't decide which is better. I just want one.
I want to go buy loads of shoes. And bags. Red. Green. Blue. In that order.
I want a Samsung D510. The brother of my lost D500.
I want to go on a holiday. Somewhere sunny and fun, where mayjjj and I can wear floppy hats and sunglasses and laze around. Somewhere beautiful and bright, charming and delightful.
I want to go to London to visit Jie, although everyone at home is suddenly thinking that they don't want to go. The brothers especially. Idiots. I want to go to Scotland and Ireland at the same time.
I want to go to Germany for the World Cup. GIRLS WATCH SOCCER TOO!

And then I realise that all these are so trivial when compared to others. Where their only demand is to stay alive, be cured, survive, heal.

Confusing dreams and startled wakings

2006-04-17T10:56:00.000+08:00

If I were asked if I am a morning or night person, I'm not too sure myself. I like both mornings and nights. Although if you go by majority, I'll be a night person. Mornings are nice only when I can laze about enjoying it, not when I have to rush off for something or another. I like lazing around in my room enjoying the cool aircon while the lethargic sunshine pours in, its just so luxurious.

And nights are wonderful because its so quiet, and the darkness is like a blanket to wrap around myself as I read or write.

Maybe I'm also a rain person. I absolutely love hearing the rain, pitter patter or full blown thunder-storm, although the lightning gets a little frightening. It drowns out noise with its own thunder and cacophony of the rain hitting as many surfaces it can.

And rain just reminds me of weird mayj's house where the rain starts on one side, leaving the other side dry, and only after a while then it moves over to the other side. I want to see that. I just realised I could have. It rained once when I stayed over. And, mayjjj took my advice and put up her password where its almost unhackable, I'm such a genius. I can't be bothered with passwords. Tis the internet, meant for public viewing.

Hey you, stranger!

treetop houses and breaking glasses

2006-04-16T13:55:00.000+08:00

Love indie bands. Love local indie bands. Love local guys who sing so nice. Love the guys last night.

Miche and I decided that we want to build a treehouse at timbre and stay forever, while Mayj thinks that timbre is a treehouse.

I think smoking and drinking are what people do to occupy themselves while watching something, listening to things or whatever, or they'll just look retarded, like me, just staring at the bands and looking loserish without my pint of lager or a stick of cig between my fingers.

And I made it to SMU, double deg. And no one is as happy as I am, or even really happy for me because they're all giving me the 'I told you so, I knew it, Ermm, Duh' reaction. It still is something to be happy about!! I'm happy.

Everytime I hear someone sing beautifully, I wonder why I can't. Why can't I make music so nice too? I can play the piano, but I can't create. Can these things be taught? I wonder. Some people are just less imperfect than others.

Statues will not cry.

2006-04-13T10:58:00.000+08:00

Why don't you walk away.

If everyone knew everyone else, will there be silent social conformation to do the right thing because now you can't ignore someone and not be bothered with their actions using the excuse of him/her being a stranger. And there will be the fear of gossiping about the things you've done wrong, because everyone will know who had done what. So will this be a good thing? Or not? Maybe it depends on the society.

Taking a stroll

2006-04-12T00:57:00.000+08:00

Things don't always go as they should. But that's just life, since when does everything or when can everything fall into place in perfect sequence, in perfect harmony? Even if supposed harmony there are compromises and forgiveness of mistakes, wrongs, imperfections.

Life will be great if we could just sit around all day talking, chatting leisurely in a small cafe with a big teacup in our hands dwarfed by it sipping tea, munching on bite-sized cookies. That'll be my cafe.

Sometimes working just take your mind off everything you worry about, everything you don't want to think about. And the tiredness that comes after working, the tiredness that knocks you out after work, further shuts off everything else for you, allowing you peaceful, deep sleep.

Sleep on.

blah blah bloody edb

2006-04-09T02:55:00.000+08:00

hmf. got rejectedddd.. but whats new.

falling away. nobody said it was easy

2006-04-08T02:23:00.000+08:00

I am in love with coldplay.

Watch the vids k! They're lovely.

I want someone to hold me in his arms and sing to me. Its so comfortable, warm, lovely. Well, sometimes you get what you want and not what you need, I don't get either.

I want Copeland's singer. His singing is so amazing, I can't even start to describe. Copeland needs to get back to Singapore for Baybeats at least.

stuck in reverse

2006-04-08T02:17:00.000+08:00

Great song. Memory of Timbre brought back.

i want to go back to the start

2006-04-08T02:15:00.000+08:00

Love the vid. Its sad. sad. sad.

i misssssss you

2006-04-06T13:34:00.000+08:00

i miss my phone.
i miss mayjjj,sherk the shark,naRMY.
i miss jo,nartz,huis.
i miss going to school.
i miss not being able to be a slacker and not thinking.
i miss not having to think of money matters.
i miss leading a simplistic life.

In Memoriam 2006-2006

2006-04-05T10:45:00.000+08:00

i dont care if you dont care

2006-04-05T00:31:00.000+08:00

to fall in love and fall in debt
to alcohol and cigarettes and mary jane
to keep me insane and doing someone else's cocaine;

city of the dead
at the end of another lost highway
signs misleading to nowhere - city of the damned
lost children with dirty faces today
no one really seems to care;

dearly beloved, are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying
are we demented?
Or am i disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure
oh therapy, can you please fill the void?
Am i retarded?
Or am i just overjoyed?
Nobody's perfect and i stand accused
for lack of a better word and that's my best excuse;;

i don't feel any shame, i won't apologise
when there aint nowhere you can go
running away from pain when you've been victimized
tales from another broken home

2006-04-05T00:30:00.000+08:00

EFFFING DEPRESSED!!!!!!

Cry cry cry.

2006-04-05T00:29:00.000+08:00

I'm depressed.

Life's ashes.

2006-04-05T00:19:00.000+08:00

Like I said, I'd definitely write more now that I'm using blogger, cos its so much more convenient.

I'm moping around in depression and I can't do anything about it. Silly mistakes just seem to burn your life to ashes.

I need some proper high wage job so I can fulfil my dreams of holidaying, backpacking, hitchhiking, road-tripping. But I'm too poor, doubt I can even afford a new baby.

incessant whining. of myself.

2006-04-04T23:26:00.000+08:00

I hate hate hate myself. I lost something that had just become close to my heart.

I don't know how I went through the rest of the day with it resting in my mind, constantly thinking of it. I just broke down and cried, hurts man. Its just an object but it was something I wanted for so long, yearned for so long, treasured so much.

Honesty is the best policy.

I hate debates.